Do you hear me now?
by flora1309
Summary: After a very positive response on the first chapter posted in unfinished projects, I finally decided to post the sequel to Hear me. Read that one first before you read this one. Alan and Jeff return from their trip, but now his secret is out and Alan leaves his room for the first time in a long time, can Jeff keep his promise that things will change?
1. Jeff

**After a very positive response on the first chapter posted in unfinished projects, I finally decided to post the sequel to Hear me. Read that one first before you read this one.**

**Disclaimer: None of the Characters belong to me**

**WARNING: DARK, TALK ABOUT SUICIDE, DON'T READ IT IF YOU HAVEN'T READ HEAR ME!**

* * *

**Jeff, going back home**

Seventeen year old Alan Tracy sat across of his dad in a place nobody would ever look for the business man. Hard Rock Cafe in Rome trying to eat a hamburger that was way too big for his mouth.

When Alan had informed his father in his desire to see ancient Rome one day the father made sure that the jet was ready within the day.

It had been three weeks ago that Jeff walked in while Alan had a private conversation that shouldn't have been overheard. Still Jeff was grateful, even thanking the stars, that he did. He found out that his youngest son, his baby, was being bullied to the point that he tried to commit suicide. Not by classmates, not by strangers, not by friends, but by his family. His brothers.

A teacher had stepped in and forced Alan into a support group to talk about the constant assault on his feelings.

While the bullying was still going on, Alan learned to deal with it. Far away from his family, Alan somehow became a strong young man Jeff could be proud off and loved getting to know.

For three years, his image of Alan was of an angry teen with broken blue eyes, locking himself in his room refusing to even acknowledge his family. When Jeff overheard the call he confronted his son, but he hadn't expected the reaction he got. Alan broke down crying before falling asleep in his dad's arms.

The oldest blond, the twenty-six year old John had found them. Jeff hadn't told him what Alan had done, only that if the others didn't stop their verbal assault they would lose the youngest Tracy. John had offered to take over the management of the Thunderbird while Jeff took Alan on a well-deserved vacation.

So that night Jeff smuggled Alan out of the house into the company jet, John would tell the others about the 'business emergency' at Tracy tower that needed Jeff there and that Alan decided to tag along for a school related project.

They had been gone for three weeks now and Alan had another four weeks of summer vacation left. Every day, Jeff learned something new about Alan, much to his embarrassment. An example, all the other Tracy's were born later in the school year. They graduated at eighteen. Alan was born in September, making him an early student and allowing him to graduate a few months before his birthday. They had missed Alan's graduation, nobody had even noticed. Alan had enrolled into MIT, to study engineering with as extra course computer science. With his trust fund, Alan had rented a small apartment near campus to stay in during the year.

Jeff's image of an boy barely passing had been crushed when he saw the high school diploma with straight A's in the advanced placement. Which meant that the boy got a full scholarship for the top university on engineering.

Another surprise was Alan's offered scholarships on both his baseball talents and boxing. Apparently the seventeen year old had a great swing, with or without the bat. Alan took the offer on the MIT baseball team while telling his father that while he enjoyed to unwind himself during boxing, he didn't fancy getting a concussion during school. Boxing would remain a friendly hobby.

It broke Jeff's heart that Alan wasn't surprised that no-one knew he was graduating, that nobody cared enough to give Alan advice for his senior prom when he asked a girl, that nobody helped choosing the university and helping him decorate the apartment. Alan's shrug and piercing blue eyes felt like someone stabbing his heart as did the words "_I knew nobody would show up anyway. So why bother calling?"_

When had it come this far?

Jeff apologized for missing Alan's baseball games.

For missing the graduation.

He apologized again when they were eating in a fancy restaurant and he ordered shrimps for the two of them as appetizer and Alan had to cut in because he had a severe allergy to shellfish.

And again when Alan admitted in that while Tracy tower in NY was almost a second home to the Tracy's, he had never really saw the sights. The others had seen it all before Alan was old enough to join and now he was too young to go wandering through the streets on his own.

Every time, Alan shrugged and said it didn't matter. But it did.

So when Alan told his dad that he never saw the sights, Jeff took him. When Alan showed him the small apartment, Jeff transferred the money back to the trust fund and made sure that the security was up to date. Books were paid for and Alan received a new bat and glove. And when Alan voiced his desire to visit Rome one day, they arrived the next day.

Off course there had been the awkward talks. Alan still talked to his sponsor every day, he still wore either long shirts or bracelets to hide the scars on his wrist. Jeff didn't want to pressure his son to talk but still felt the need to tell Alan every time that he loved him and that he would be there if Alan wanted to talk.

Alan told Jeff that he had been disappointed by the lack of attention his father had given him. How it hurt when his brothers told him how worthless he was.

And during one night, while enjoying a hot chocolate in the hotel near the Tracy tower in Berlin, Alan told his father what happened _that _day.

"_If you don't want to talk about it I would understand." Jeff said carefully. "But can you tell me what happened that day."_

_Alan sat back, the warm mug resting on his belly. He closed his eyes for a second before he looked at his father. "In group, we have moments where we share what we did and how it felt. When you stand there, no-one interrupts you, you can speak freely without questions asked. Will you let me do that?"_

_Jeff nodded, and with shacking hands took the father Alan's chocolate and put both mugs on the table._

"_It was just before the incident with the Hood." Said Alan softly, his elbows on his knees and his chin resting on his knuckles. "I had worked hard to get my grates up, was allowed to join Fermat in the advanced courses a few months earlier. I still had troubles adjusting to my new homework load. It wasn't rare for me to skip a meal to study. Fermat was getting more worried with every pound I lost. When I arrived home for spring break, I was holding on to the hope that maybe I could be home-schooled. My grades were up and I put effort in my schoolwork. I hoped that maybe when I became part of the team, you guys wouldn't forget about me, you wouldn't tease me but look at me as maybe not an equal but at least part of the family."_

_When Jeff wanted to interrupt Alan held up his hand. _

"_Please, don't interrupt." Sighed Alan. "You shot my home-school idea down without listening. The others started teasing me during dinner and I left the table without even taking a bite. You know what happened next and after our fight in the office I stormed out to the jungle where I spend the night. In the morning, I don't know why, but I was angry that nobody even noticed I wasn't home. _

_By the time I had cooled down, you guys took off and Fermat came to inform me about five. We saw the Hood arrive on the island and through the air vents we crawled to the command centre. I know that the videos were turned off and you never asked me what had went down on the island so I'll tell you now. _

_After the Hood had contacted you, Fermat sneezed and gave us away. We fled to the silos but were trapped. By using the thunderizer we managed to get in thunderbird one silo, Fermat and Tintin worked together to keep the goons on a distance. _

_The passwords had changed so we were trapped, the Hood talked to me, promised me things. But I refused to give in, with my rock shooter I managed to hit the red button and we fell. Than the motors started and fire was getting close, for a moment I thought I had killed my friends but we hit the water just in time. We only had minor burns._

_We walked to through the jungle and in the end managed to make contact with five. They used the contact to trace us, during our escape moment I was mean to Fermat and because of me, Tintin and he were caught by Mullion. Only I managed to escape. _

_I saw how Lady Penelope and Parker fought with the goons but got overpowered by the Hood. I came out of hiding to save them. We got dumped in a freezer with the others where Lady P got us out. We managed to save you guys and you know what happened next._

_On our way back, I noticed how much damage the Hood had done. It was almost dinner time and I hadn't eaten since breakfast on school the day before, I felt the burn from our fall on my back, my knee twisted from the fall and at least a few fingers sprained. I went to Virgil for some aspirin and maybe salve for my back but was quickly pushed aside, John was hurt more than me and was given priority._

_After that everyone gathered at the pool and I didn't want to interrupt. I wanted to grab something to eat but Scott told me to wait. The mission came before dinner and I don't remember the details but I think I must have passed out after two landed. I don't know much about what happened after warts, only the teasing and the yelling on the way home. _

_I felt better after I had something in my stomach and escaped the infirmary. On my way to my room I passed your office. I heard you guys talk about how I was a liability for the team at this age and it was a mistake to start my training this young. Gordon joked that it was a mistake to make me part at the team at all. No matter what age. _

_Somehow I ended up in my room, the next day I faked an email that my presence was required at school and left the island. Parker dropped me of at school, with Fermat still home and nobody to talk with I locked myself in my room. I was scared, but I was done. I knew I couldn't run away, my face was too familiar with the press and I needed a definite way out. So taking a knife from my pencil sharpener, I… I…" Alan closed his eyes._

"_My chemistry teacher, mr. James Walice, forced his way in. We talked during my extra lessons and he knew I had it difficult at home. When he noticed that I had come back early, he hurried to my room. Later he told me that he had a bad feeling that made him come. _

_He treated me in confidence. If this landed up in my medical dossier my life would be over and if the press found out… _

_Using bandages he wrapped my wrists and I was moved to his quarters. For the remaining of the spring break he made sure I wasn't left alone. Every object that I could use to hurt myself was taken and locked away out of my reach. _

_I felt so lost, I threw temper tantrums, burst out in crying without reason. James was so patient with me, and I didn't make it easier on him. By the time school started he told the school nurse that I came back from home underfed and dehydrated and that he wanted me close for observation. It wasn't rare for mr. Walice to take a few students under his wing who had troubles at home so as long as I visited the school nurse twice a week, I was to stay in the guest rooms so they could keep an eye on my 'eating patron'. _

_With help of James I ended up with both feet back on the ground. We set up a schedule that helped me. Order helped me focus. He woke me up every morning at the same time and we went to the gym before breakfast. Then class, homework and dinner. I had to be in bed by eight. By the time I was allowed to go back to the same room as Fermat, who by now thought I was being treated for anorexia, I was able to keep myself on the right path. I still met James in the gym every morning and instead of doing homework directly after class I had a two hour baseball practise and did my homework until bedtime. _

_I was functioning on my own, but still I wasn't happy. James brought me to ASS the next weekend and he quickly became my sponsor. Since then I'm getting better. I may never get rid of the scars but I regret nothing in my life even if my past was full of hurt, I still look back and smile, because it made me who I am today. If this hadn't happened I may never got my scholarship to MIT or met all those people in ASS. It made me a better person in the end, a happier person."_

"_God Alan." Jeff sat down next to his son and gathered him in a hug and apologized for the millionth time in the last few weeks._

"Dad are you okay?" the seventeen year old looked worried to his father. "You zoned out for a few minutes."

"Yeah Ally, I was just thinking about the last few weeks." Picking up his cola the father smiled. "It's too bad we have to return to the island. I wouldn't mind spending another few weeks on vacation. We should do this again during your fall break, is there another city you wouldn't mind spending a few more days with your old man."

"You don't have to dad." Grimaced Alan. "With your work at Tracy tower and your other job."

"I want to Ally." Jeff said while ruffling the blond locks from his son. "You've been put on second place enough. You're enough away from home as it is. I don't want to lose you again so every spring and fall, the two of us will go to a major city for two nights. See the sights, okay."

Alan smiled, and to Jeff's relief it reached the piercing blue eyes. "I would love to dad. How about you choose and prepare every fall trip and I'll arrange the one during spring break."

"Just make sure you take the money from the main account." Jeff smiled. "That thrust fund is for when you have a family of your own. So how about we visit Prague in October?"

"Sure." Alan placed his cutlery down. "Pf I'm full. How about you?"

Frowning about the little Alan had finished compered to him, Jeff nodded.

The "_I'm full_ _But I finished my plate_." Wasn't said. Alan couldn't manage large portions of food because his small stomach. '_And it's our fault.' _The father thought.

"I think it's time to collect our suitcases and get to the airport." Said Jeff. "We leave in two hours."

"We got a private jet and you still insist on flying on such ridiculous time." Complained the blond.

"And it's still a twenty hour flight." Chuckled Jeff. "If we leave at nine we're lucky to arrive before dinner."

"I know but I still don't like it." Mumbled Alan.

Again ruffling the blond locks, Jeff looked fondly at his son. "How about you choose something from the gift shop. We could collect those from the Hard Rock Café all over the world."

"You mean you would eat here again?" Alan said surprised.

Jeff shrugged. "You seem to like it, and it's not that bad. I was never one for the small expensive portions. A hamburger at least fills my stomach."

"Awesome." And the teen disappears, Jeff paid the bill and waited for his youngest in the warm evening air. When Alan emerged out of the shop he showed his father two buttons. "The guy told me a lot people collect them. I bought two different kinds so we know who has been where. I'll collect the weird shaped ones and you get the round."

"Good idea Alan." Praised Jeff as he put the buttons in the bag. "Ready to go?"

"If we have to." Said Alan softly. Jeff looked at Alan to continue. "These last few weeks were amazing. I don't want to go back to normal."

"We won't. I won't let it go back to what it was Ally, you need to trust me with that." Jeff wrapped an arm around the small shoulders.

"I wish I could dad." Whispered Alan. "But it has been going on for so long."

"And it stops now."

They retrieved their bags and took a cap to the airport. After securing the bags, Alan took place in the main chair behind the steering wheel. Another surprise for Jeff had been Alan's driving and pilot license. And Alan was good behind any wheel.

After flying for over an hour, Jeff noticed how pale Alan looked and how tightly he held the steering wheel. "Alan, why don't you go and lie down for a few hours." Suggested Jeff. "I'll wake you up in a few hours so we don't tire ourselves out with flying."

"You could go first…" hesitated Alan.

"Nonsense, didn't you notice the amount of coffee I drank before take-off?" smiled the billionaire. "Go, I'll be fine."

"If you're sure." Switching to automatic pilot, Alan surrendered the wheel to his father. "I'll be in the back. Wake me if you need anything."

The father waited a half hour before checking. Alan was curled up on the small couch, the blanket half over him and the ocean waves sound softly playing on the background. Running a hand through the soft blond locks, Jeff pulled the blanket a bit higher before tucking his son in. It was strange to see how young the seventeen year old looked in his sleep. Awake, Alan stood guarded and his blue eyes were damaged. In sleep, all the tension disappeared and his face relaxed.

He tenderly kissed his youngest forehead before turning back to the cockpit. Going over the radars to see if something had changed, he settled back in the comfy chair. He then pulled his smartphone out of his pocket calling a familiar number of someone he knew would be awake at this hour.

"_mmmister Tr…Tracy hhhow aa… arre y…you_?" Brains stuttered over the phone.

"Brains, I need a favour." Said Jeff. "Could you see if Kyrano is still awake."

"_I'm here sir_." The loyal servant said. "_I was bringing master Brains is evening tea before turning in. What can we do for you?"_

"I need to island for me and my boys for a week." Started Jeff. "Something has been brought to my attention and I need to handle it before it gets out of hand. Brains, would you mind spending another week up in five, or could you bring John down and take a few days' vacation?"

"_FFFermatt aa… and I wwwwould lli… llli… love tttto sssspend a a wwweek uuup iin fiv… five." _Stuttered the inventor.

"Thank you, Brains." Sighed Jeff. "Take Scott with you so John doesn't fly back alone in three. Kyrano Tracy 2 is at your service for any vacation place you want with your family, I know it's a bit short day but I really need my boys alone. Virgil and Gordon can bring you to your destination so neither of them have to fly back alone."

"_Certainly sir." _Kyrano said. _"I'll inform my wife that she has to pack the suitcases. And sir, I'm glad you finally noticed young Alan's situation. My daughter has been distraught about his welfare."_

"_FFFermatt too._" Said Brains quietly.

Running a hand through his own greying hair, "I'm only disappointed at myself that it took so long for me to notice."

"It's being here now that's important. There's no past and there's no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future." Quoted Kyrano. "I wish you good luck master Tracy."

"Thank you." Jeff said honest. "Both of you."

Cutting the call of, Jeff leaned back in his chair. Wondering how he was going to fix this mess.


	2. John

**I accidently placed the wrong first chapter first, but it's fixed now. Thank you Brumby! **

**Still don't own the Thunderbirds, *snik***

**John**

The billionaire woke up from a warm hand shaking his shoulder. "Come on dad, wakey wakey. We're home." Alan's soft voice called.

Sitting straight, Jeff rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "You already landed?" he said surprised.

"Yeah, and nobody is home," was that relieve in the seventeen-year-old's voice? "So I had to use the override. Post fly plan has been done and the bags are waiting at the elevators."

"Well, what are we waiting for. I could use a shower." Cracking his neck, Jeff rose up walking into the elevators and pressing the button for his office. "Uh, with Kyrano on vacation…" Jeff had told Alan a little white lie about the servant who had offered to take his vacation time now so the whole family had the island to them self and how Brains loved the idea and would change places with John. "I'm not sure what we're going to eat tonight. I could make…"

"Stay away from the stove dad." Laughed Alan. "After last week." The blond shuddered. "Never again. I'll make dinner."

"If you don't mind." Said Jeff shyly, after finding out that Alan loved to cook he had been curious about the youngest cooking skills. "Any idea what?"

"I'll see what I can make." Shrugged Alan shouldering his bag. "Need to see what ingredients we have first. Dinner at six thirty?"

"Off course. That's your regular time right?" smiled Jeff, which softened when the blue eyes shot up to him. "Alan I don't want to mess with your schedule. If you want to do something at a special time, just tell me and I'll make sure it's done. But you do need to tell me."

"I will." Alan hugged his father quick before running off to the kitchen. "Thank you dad, for everything."

Jeff stood stunned in the elevator. This was the first time Alan initiated an embrace, and it felt good.

****TB****

At six twenty Jeff walked down to the dining room. He wanted to be on time to show his support for Alan's tight schedule. He had worked through some paperwork for IR and was totally up to date, Scott had done a great job when he was away.

In the dining room, a table was set and his four eldest sons were waiting for dinner. "Dad!" twenty four year old Virgil saw him first and rushed up to embrace his father. "We missed you around here."

"I missed you guys too." Jeff smiled ruffling Gordon's red hair in passing. "You guys didn't get into much trouble while I was gone?"

"Nah." John smiled. "I didn't even notice them."

"Well you were in space." Sighed Scott. "I wish that Gordon was up there more than once. Man, if I find one more paper boat I'm going to hit something."

"You didn't have paint in your shampoo." Growled Virgil, "He was luckily I was able to wash it out in two tries…"

"I see." Chuckled Jeff. "Well, shall we eat?"

"But what?" questioned John. "I was just informed about Kyrano's vacation and well to be honest, nobody wants someone born Tracy near a stove."

"I made lasagne." A soft voice came from the door. "A special recipe."

"Alan?" John stood up first walking up to the smaller blond. "You're… It smells amazing. Put it on the table, can I get anything?"

"There is some bread still in the oven." Alan didn't meet John's eyes, making himself as small as he could while holding the dish steady. "Could you?"

"Be back in a sec." smiled the older blond, "Save some from me,"

Alan carefully placed the dish on table as he watched his older brothers frown.

"Look who came out of his cave." Scott grinned, "It's good to see you out of your room for once little brother."

"You've got to be kidding me." Chuckled Gordon. "Sprout cooked? Dad are you trying to kill us?"

"GORDON!" Jeff looked irritated at his second youngest. "Be glad that Alan made dinner. He didn't have to and then what would we have eaten? Now say sorry to your brother and sit down."

"Gee sorry Al. Didn't know you were so lightly touched." Mumbled Gordon.

Alan just sat down quietly next to the spot Jeff saved for him. John walked in with warm bread and garlic butter and Jeff took it as a sign to distribute tonight's dinner.

"You know." Said Scott surprised while taking his second bite. "This is actually pretty good Alan. I didn't know you could cook. You should do it more often, Ohana could get a day of too."

"Yeah, you can make yourself more useful in this house than just sulk in your room." sniggered Virgil.

John and Jeff's cry of "VIRGIL!" was loud enough to make Alan wince. "That was totally uncalled for."

"I'm not really hungry dad." Whispered Alan shoving his chair back. "I'll go to my room."

"Okay Alan. I'll be up in a sec with a plate." Said the father carefully. "I want you to eat at least something."

"O Alan, I had to borrow a book. I hope you don't mind." Gordon said while spewing Lasagne all over the table.

"No it's fine." Alan whispered leaving the room. Gordon sat with a straight face until they heard Alan moving up the stairs, he burst out in laugh.

Closing his eyes, Jeff massaged his temples. "What did you do?"

"Well you know how anal Alan is about keeping his room clean." Laughed Gordon. "I thought I would messy it up a bit, and I gave it a new colour too."

A loud bang sounded through the room when Jeff's chair clattered on the ground but the father had reached the door by then. John closely on his heels. "You three stay here. Don't you dare to leave this room for anything other than a bathroom break." Threated Jeff before leaving the room.

"Dad what the hell is going on!" John asked but Jeff ignored him. Finally they reached the youngest room and soft sobs sounded muffled through the door.

Jeff walked in and closed his eyes. Last time he was in this room, the room was clean, not like an usual boy´s room. Everything was organised, on the right place, books sorted at alphabet. Now books were shattered around the room, clothing messy thrown around and on the light blue calm walls was played around with black smears.

Looking around he found his son, Alan was leaning against the wall, his face hidden in his arms. "Ally." the father sat down next to his son, while John sat in front of them. "It's going to be alright. I'll fix this."

"You promised dad." Whispered Alan brokenly. "You promised."

"And I'll always keep my promise." Said Jeff soothing. "It's going to take some time but I…"

"Don't." cut Alan off. "Maybe I should just go dad. I have my apartment in Massachusetts, I could stay there until school starts…"

"No Alan." Said Jeff firmly. "This is your home. And if anyone goes it's Gordon. I'll make sure this has consequences."

"I can help Alan clean up while you go talk with the others." Offered John.

Jeff nodded his thanks before turning to Alan. "Would you let John help you? His room is almost as clean as yours." Hesitantly looked Alan up to his older brother before giving a small nod. "Good, John books go in on alphabetical order by writer and the clothing can go to the wash. I'll let Gordon sort it out for you. Alan you want to paint tonight or tomorrow? We got some paint stored."

"Now." Was whispered.

"Good, John can you walk with Alan to the attic to choose a colour? I'll collect the clothing. Alan, you can stay in my room tonight." Jeff said starting to pick up random objects to place them in a new bag to store them.

John watched Alan choosing a colour with care. The light blue he picked was almost the same shade as his current colour. Maybe a bit lighter. On the way back took John two old shirts from his room. Offering one to Alan, he smiled. "I love your shirt so take one of mine before yours get paint all over it." They quickly changed. "Alan, you forget your bracelets. You don't want them to get paint on them?"

Alan traced the tight bands around his wrists. "Doesn't matter. I rather keep them on."

Shrugging John guided Alan back to the boys room where the floor had been cleared. Books were collected on a pile close to the balcony, a sheet covered the closets and bed. "Wow, dad is a fast worker." Said John while Alan looked at his ruined walls. "Hey don't worry, tomorrow everything will be as good as old."

First taping the plinths and the doors off, the duo started to work.

"So." Started John after a few minutes of silence. "Excited for your senior year?"

"I graduated this year." Whispered Alan. "I'm going to be a freshman."

Almost dropping his paintbrush, John turned around. "Wait what? What do you mean you graduated this year? You're seventeen?"

"Born in September." Shrugged Alan not looking up.

John closed his eyes. "O god Alan. I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"No it's not Alan." The oldest blond said. "and don't let anyone tell you it's alright. God I feel awful. Why didn't you tell me?" again only a shrug. "Well that explains your apartment, you're going to MIT?" Alan nodded. "What are you going to study?"

"Engineering with as extra course computer science." Said Alan. "I'm a scholarship student so I have to take an extra course."

"Scholarship?"

Alan shrugged. "I wasn't sure if dad would let me go to college since nobody talked about it. I had to get a scholarship so I wouldn't damage my thrust fund too much." Admitted the smaller boy. "I got two, for academic reasons and the baseball team."

"You play baseball?" asked John astonished. "What position "

"Pitcher and reserve catcher." Said Alan.

"Send me your game schedule than I'll try to make it to a few of your games." Said John turning back to the wall. "Why didn't you tell?"

"I did." Said Alan so softly. "But nobody cared." Before John could respond, Alan's phone rang. "Sorry, I have to take this." He moved to the balcony and John moved closer to hear Alan's part of the conversation.

"James." Alan sounded relieved to hear this James. "I've been having a bad day."

(…)

"At home, we got back shortly before dinner." Said Alan.

(…)

"No we ate at my regular time. Dad promised he would help me follow my schedule." Wait Alan need a schedule to eat? What for?

(…)

"It's my brothers. Gordon messed up my room like really bad. He painted the walls black and threw my stuff through the room."

(…)

"I don´t think they know but they don't care either." Said Alan. "I mean, Gordon had to know I need my room this way otherwise he wouldn't have target it."

(…)

"Yeah like Garry said 'it´s funny how the people you would take a bullet for, tends to always be the one behind the gun' it's just so difficult. Dad is trying hard but he can't make the others like me. I don't want to be here James. I wish I could go, I don't belong here."

(…)

"Don't worry, I have no bad thoughts. Just sad."

(…)

"I know that I´m not alone. Thanks, I needed to hear that. Speak you tomorrow?"

(…)

"Bye." Alan put his IPhone away, while leaning on the balcony to gather himself.

John moved away from the window, not wanting Alan to know he overheard the obvious private call. It had shocked him how little Alan sounded and yet so strong. When Alan walked in John send him a small smile. "Important call?"

"Yes and no." said Alan picking him brush up. "He calls every day so there wasn't much to talk about other than our day but if I miss my call it has consequences."

"Consequences?" asked John.

"It doesn't matter." Said the youngest. "Forget it."

"No it matters to me." Pressed John. "those consequences, how bad are they?"

"It's private." Mumbled Alan. "And dad already knows so could you please let it go."

If their father knew about it and it was important he would have told John about it so John filled Alan's request and let it go. "Too bad we didn't get to finish your lasagne. It was really good Alan. Where did you learn to cook?"

"During the missions." Said Alan. "When you were out, I went to the kitchen to help Ohana. And the last few months during the vacation if I was able to spend it with uh… a friend."

"The same friend that called you?" asked John and Alan nodded. "Alan, not that it doesn't matter to me but that friend, is it your boyfriend?"

Alan frowned before bursting laughing. "Oh I think James would be in so much trouble if he even considered a relationship with me. There are rules about that. And no John, I don't swing that way."

"Who is James?" asked John, happy that Alan at least talked.

"My former chemistry teacher." Admitted Alan. "He took care of me after the incident with uh… the Hood."

John noticed how Alan traced the bracelets to check if they were still in place before continuing with the wall. A shiver went through the older one when he thought back to a man with similar bracelets always covering his wrists. An old class mate from the university, growing up in an abusive home had tried to slit his wrists a few years before college. CPS got involved and while the boy was removed from his home and placed in a loving home but the scars and the record will always follow him.

"Did I ever tell you about Kell?" John said hesitantly. At Alan's confused shack continued the astronaut. "We weren't really friends but at one time we were partners for a semester. At first I noticed how he got called by a buddy every day at the exact same time. When I asked him about it he told me it was a buddy who checked if he was okay, If he needed to talk, that buddy would always listen without judging you." John noticed how tense Alan became but still continued. "He wore bracelets just like you're wearing right now…"

"Stop John." Whispered Alan. "Please, just stop."

"I may not want to hear what you´re going to say, but I need to hear it Ally." John whispered back. "But if you tell me I got it wrong, I would believe you."

When Alan failed to answer, took John Alan´s arm in his soft hand, ignoring the wince Alan made at the contact. "I'm not going to hurt you." Said John as Alan tried to pull back but the blond was stronger. Removing the bracelets, John winced when he saw the angry scar on Alan´s wrist surrounded by smaller scars. "It's true." John whispered, his finger tracing the scaring while Alan tried to pull away. "I don't think this was about the Hood." John carefully said, "How dad reacted at dinner tonight, why he took you away from this island. It wasn't the Hood was it? It was the teasing."

"I'm so sorry." A small voice sounded so scared. So much younger than Alan´s real age. "I just couldn´t take it anymore."

"Hey, it's not your fault." John said firmly. "You hear me. You're not to blame. You were young, it was us. We knew better. I understand now, the clean and organised room, the schedule, it gives you control right?"

A few tears started to fall down Alan´s cheeks as he nodded. Pulling his youngest brother into a careful hug, he buried Alan's head against his shoulder, allowing him to break down for a moment. John tighten his grip when he felt the wetness from the boy´s tears.

"It was a long day for you," said John guiding Alan out of the room. "And I'm sure that Gordon didn't make it any easier. Why don't you go lie in my room for a few hours. I'll finish your room."

Alan was slumped against John, forcing the older one to drag/carry Alan to his room. After tucking the young boy in, John couldn't help but look around for anything sharp Alan could hurt himself with. Removing those objects he went back to the hall. Closing the door behind him, John sat on the ground burying his face in his knees.

That was how Jeff found his second oldest. Sitting next to the blond he sighed. "You found out."

"Yeah." Sighed John. "Overheard a call and connected the dots. Why would you keep this from us? How long did you know?"

"I found out that night I left." Admitted Jeff. "You have no idea what I've been through the last few weeks. Alan is so much more than our youngest and we missed so much."

"I heard about MIT." Said John. "And his baseball."

"He was scared that we wouldn't support him." said Jeff, "I failed him John."

"We all did dad." John looked at the hall. "How went your talk?"

Jeff coughed. "Gordon is angry, he only played a '_harmless prank'_ and Virgil and Scott don't understand why I suddenly won't allow the '_normal bickering'_ to continue. I'm at loss John, I don't want to break Alan's thrust but I don't see another way to show them what they're doing wrong."

"Don't worry we'll figure something out." Promised John, supressing a yawn. "I'll go on finishing Alan's room."

"No, Virgil and Gordon have received that as punishment for their words during dinner." Said the father. "Go to bed, travelling from five can be really tiring."

"Alan is sleeping in my room," said John. "and while I don't mind sharing I'm not so sure how Alan would react waking up next to me."

"Don't worry, I'll take him to my room." Jeff pushed himself up. "He can sleep on the couch that way I can keep an eye on him."

"I don't want to wake him…" started John but Jeff smiled sadly.

"Alan doesn't even weighs a hundred pounds soaking wet." Cut the father in. "I can carry him to my room without trouble."

"That can't be healthy." The blond mumbled.

Jeff ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, most thought that Alan was being treated for an eating disorder while he was away. From what I gather, Alan hasn't finish a meal at home without being disturbed by someone and then he won't be able to take even one bite. Like tonight, Alan ate lunch, I've over seen it but during dinner he took one bite before taking off to his room. At school he's so desperate to prove that he's worthy of the Tracy name that he skips meals to study. You know about MIT, did you know that Alan graduated with only A's and with every class Advantage? He graduated top of his class together with Fermat."

"No way." John watched as his father lifted the seventeen year old up bridal stile. "We need to watch him more closely from now on dad. How can it be that we didn't notice what was going on for all these years?"

"We lost sight of what was important." Sighed Jeff, "go to sleep John. I'll see you in the morning."


	3. Scott

**The reason I rated this M, is because of the Suicide mentioned in the chapters. If this is an offensive subject (and you still read through the other chapters) just press on the little red button that makes this story close. **

**Still don't own the Thunderbirds, *snik***

**Scott**

When Alan woke up, his father was still asleep. Moving to the kitchen, the teen started to make some coffee and pancakes.

Just as he dropped syrup on them, John walked in sitting down at the counter. "I hope you saved some for me Al, because I'm starving." Without saying a word handed Alan the other blond a plate and a mug with steaming coffee. "Oh my hero." Groaned John as he dug in. "Dad still asleep? And please sit down."

Alan nodded as he hesitantly took a seat next to his brother. Pulling a plate to him with a fresh smoothie made from strawberries and banana.

"Healthy Alan, got some more?" John asked and Alan offered his own glass. "No that's yours."

"There is still a bit in the blender but not enough for a whole glass." Admitted Alan.

John rose up. "I'll get it. You finish your breakfast."

"Okay dad." teased Alan as he bowed over his breakfast. John let a relieved sigh escape as he heard Alan's voice.

"While I know John acts like an old man, he's still a bit too young to be your dad." Scott ruffled Alan's hair before sitting down on Alan's other side, John noticed Alan's wince and hurried pouring his drink before sitting back down. He knew that Scott would never hurt Alan on purpose, but since Alan's mental state was questioning, he didn't want to take any chances.

"Morning Scott." John said polite. "Sleep well I hope."

"Yeah, better then Gordon and Virgil. I heard them finishing up around three." Scott softly punched Alan's arm. "You couldn't take a joke? Gordon would have cleaned it in the morning, you know that Sprout."

"Scott, watch it." Growled John.

"What's up with you John? You're not taking his side are you?" Scott complained. "Well I hope you at least made some breakfast."

Alan immediately grabbed a plate for the oldest brother before taking place on the other side of John, away from Scott. Scott took the remaining pancakes from Alan's plate too but when he reached for Alan's smoothie, John snatched it away. "Here Alan." He gave the glass back to Alan. "Please drink it all. You still need your vitamins."

Obedient drank Alan the smoothie before hesitantly reaching for the pile. "Uh, may I?" Alan asked.

"Off course." John said pleased. "Here, you made them after all."

"What about the others?" asked Scott, frowning. "It's important for the others to eat in case there is a rescue."

John send a warning look at his only older brother. "I saw some remaining dough, we could always make some more."

Ignoring John, Scott grumbled, "If you're going to keep feeding him, he'll never lose that baby fat."

Before John could react, Alan had bolted the room towards the beach. Raising up, John let his anger flare at his brother. "Do you have any idea what you've just done?" he said pushing Scott. "No off course not, because the amazing Scott Tracy doesn't do anything wrong. Do you?"

"How can I help that he's so lightly touched." Scott pushed back. "What is your problem anyway? Why is suddenly everything that we say against Alan bad? We only tease."

"My problem is that you just called a seventeen year old, who has been treated for being underweight, fat." Said John fuming. "My problem is that my baby brother can't finish a meal at home because he can't be left in peace at the table. And you want to know my biggest problem? That Alan thinks it's normal that he's forgotten, ridiculed and even pushed to the brink by his own family. That's my problem!" John knew in the back of his head that he wasn't being fair, Alan wasn't forgotten, they talked about the kid when he was at school and the ridicule was simply teasing but everything that happened last night was catching up and weighted heavy on his mind.

"Alan studying and skipping meals?" Scott growled. "Don't know what sprout told you but you better get your facts straight. Alan doesn't study, he barely passes. Dad told me so."

"Did you ever asked Alan?" questioned John furious. "None of us did and see where it led us."

"Alan would try to lie his way out. I've heard them all, '_my grades are ok,' 'I don't understand, I'm doing the best I can.' _But every Tracy went to college or military and since I don't see Alan going to college with this lazy attitude…_" _

John let his fist fly, hitting Scott square in the nose. "For your information, Alan has been accepted on full scholarship at MIT for engineering and computer science. He graduated, with none of us there because he thought that nobody would come with IR on the first place. Alan is not lazy, he just doesn't think he's good enough."

Jeff heard the last of John's rant when he rushed inside. "What's going on?"

"He hit me!" Scott said unbelieving while trying to stop his blood nose. "He actually hit me! Dad!"

Jeff looked in concern at his eldest before realizing what must have happened, turning to John he asked. "Where is he?"

"Alan ran off in this direction." John and Jeff ran out leaving a bewildered Scott behind.

"Nobody cares that John actually hit me?" Scott wondered before hurrying after them. He didn't understand, Alan knew that he loved his baby brother right? It's just teasing. A bit fun. And Alan never had the highest grades, well to be honest, the last time Scott saw those grades was shortly before Fermat joined Alan's class, How long ago had that been, six maybe seven year? And what about graduating? Alan was only seventeen, you graduate at eighteen… except when you're born in June, August or before mid-September. Alan was born begin September allowing him to graduate early. Why didn't he think of that? And maybe even more important, why didn't Alan tell?

He heard his father and brother yell Alan's name. Why were they so worried? Alan knew the island and wouldn't get lost. Yeah he would like to apologize but to panic because Alan ran off…

Soft ruffling reached his ears. Dropping on his knees, Scott crawled through the bushes, following the soft sound.

The sight scared Scott, Alan sat against a three, his knees drawn to his chest as he tried to scrub something from his arms.

"Ally?" Scott said softly but Alan still looked up startled. "Hey, I wanted to say I'm sorry." Scott held his hands up, "I forgot you too grew up. Somehow I'm still stuck with the spoiled ten year old brat that put glitter in my shampoo and teased back just as hard as we teased him. I went too far."

Alan stayed silent which made Scott crawl closer until he was seated next to the youngest. "What happened?" asked Alan softly touching at the bruise forming around Scott's left cheek and nose.

"John." Said Scott wincing as he touched his face. "He needed to knock some sense in me. Never knew he had such a strong right hook. So what did I hear? You're going to MIT? Are you excited?"

Alan was still rubbing his wrists against each other but the long sleeves were pulled down, when he answered. "Yes, I have my apartment already decorated and dad bought my books and a new laptop for computer science. I have everything I need packed and both dad and John promised that they would come for my games."

"You made the team? Only scholarship students make the team in their first year. Which sport do you play?" Scott asked surprise.

"Baseball." Replied Alan. "They offered me a scholarship but the rules surrounding the academic scholarship are better fitted for me."

Scott frowned. "Why didn't you tell me? I thought we were friends?"

"We are?" Alan look genuine surprised. "I thought you didn't like me that much anymore since you became a Thunderbird."

Carefully wrapped Scott an arm around the bony shoulders, "Off course I like you. I love you, you're my baby brother. I may not always show it, but I'm not good in showing it. But don't ever ever forget that I really love you."

"Oh." Alan leaned back to his older brother's chest. "I love you too."

"So how about you forgive me for thinking you're still the same eleven year old as six years ago and you forgive me for the teasing and I'll think about forgiving you for forgetting that I loved you." Scott suggested keeping Alan close.

"So we start over? No more teasing, no more yelling?" asked Alan hopeful.

"No more teasing, no more yelling." Promised Scott. "You worried dad and John a great deal when you ran off. Shall we come out of hiding so dad can yell at the two of us?" With a nod crawled Alan through the hole and . Scott closely behind him. "Dad, John, I got him. We're here."

Their father arrived fist, first drawing Alan in an embrace before pulling back and brushing the hairs from Alan's eyes. "Are you hurt? You didn't do anything stupid did you? Did Scott hurt you?"

John's blue eyes changed from worried as he took in Alan to anger as he turned to Scott and back. Only when Jeff took away the bracelets to check if Alan really hadn't done anything changed the eyes to regret. Scott followed the movement and his eyes went wide at the scars before he hid it. Now he understood the fierce protectiveness their dad had shown at dinner, why he had taken Alan away from the island and why John had punched him.

He deserved it.

Watching Alan reassure his father that he was fine and no he hadn't done anything stupid and while he had bad thoughts, he hadn't just reached his two year mark and didn't want to ruin it.

Fortunate Scott was able to mask his shock before Alan turned to Scott. "Scott apologized. He said that John knocked some sense in him."

"He needed it." Mumbled John under his breath.

"You're right, I did." Nodded Scott his fingers tracing the bruise.

Jeff looked at his eldest for a moment before wrapping an arm around Alan's shoulders guiding him back inside. "Come Alan, you didn't finish your breakfast and lunch is coming soon. How about after that we'll check out your room and I'll help you put the rest back in place…"

Scott laid a hand on John's shoulder to stop the astronaut. When the other two were out of earshot Scott looked at his brother. "The scars, are they?"

"Yes." Said John with a set jaw.

"When?"

"Dad only found out the night he left," said John looking at the door. "but it happened the weekend after the Hood. A teacher found out and took him under his wing. He still calls every night to check up on him."

"Why? Because of what happened with the Hood?"

John shook his head. "Alan is a sensitive person, he didn't handle the teasing very well. Apparently he didn't eat the night for the attack? He also skipped breakfast, scared of what you would say. With the Hood he didn't get to chance to eat anything either and you wouldn't let him because of the BBQ that was being held as celebration. Off course he passed out during the mission. He overheard you talk about his training being a mistake and Alan fled to school. We did it, we pushed him so far Scotty. The only thing that helps him is order and control. He uses the order in his room to keep the bad thoughts out and look what Gordon did. He believes that he's useless to us and Virgil tells him he is. We finally get him to eat and what do you do, you tell him he's fat." John took a deep calming breath. "I've made mistakes too. We all did, but we need to change Scooter."

"I'm going to try Johnny." Scott ran a hand through his hair. "It's going to be hard."

"But worth it."

Alan was seated at the table while Jeff was preparing another pile of pancakes, the youngest tried to look over his father's shoulder but Jeff pushed him back in his chair. "Don't worry Alan, I can make those without burning."

"Dad, it's not that I don't believe you but I still remember those eggs." grimaced Alan before smiling up at his brothers when they walked in.

Both John and Scott frowned at their father behind the stove. "Uh I'll grab something later." Said John. "I still need to place the bookshelves back in place and clean the room."

"I'll help." Alan jumped up but Scott's hand guided him back. "No Alan, you should eat something and after that, the two of us are going for a run. If you want to keep your place in the team you need to work out to build some muscles. You've been doing a great job, but I can help you here and there."

"A wonderful idea." Jeff presented Alan a newly filled plate. "I'll go help John." He squeezed Scott's shoulder as he walked out. A thankful look with the warning hidden in the brown eyes was sent to the eldest before the father disappeared.

Alan dug in his meal while Scott cleaned his face and examined the forming bruise. "Never knew that John had it in him."

Looking up the seventeen year old smiled apologizing, "I'm sorry he hit you for me."

"I deserved it Sprout." Scott smiled back, "Don't worry about it. But I'll go to the gym to practise my swing for the next time John gets angry. I always thought I was the strongest in this household."

"In your dreams Scotty boy." Gordon walked in stealing a pancake from Alan's plate. "What were you guys talking about? I only heard Scott saying that he was the strongest. Gee man what happened to your face?"

"John." Shrugged Scott. "And please Gordon, give Alan his breakfast back. He's tin enough as it is."

"It's okay Scott, I'm full." Alan said, placing his half-filled plate on the counter.

Gordon grabbed the plate. "Hey if you're full, who made these anyway, their good."

Scott's '_Alan' _was at the same time as Alan's ´_dad'. _

"Doesn't matter, they are good." Gordon started stuffing his face, "And Alan remember, payback is a bitch. Don't care that I started it, you don't set dad on me."

"Alan didn't send dad at you." Interfered Scott, "Dad went after Alan remember, he saw Alan's room and even I know we went too far with that one. You better leave him be Gordon or I send John at you."

"Oh. I'm getting scared." Gordon mocked, "Seriously, what's up with everyone?"

"We're growing up." Snapped Scott. "Come Alan, let's go to the gym, I think I understand John much better. I need to blow of some steam."

Obedient followed Alan his brother. "You wouldn't really punch Gordon for that would you?"

"Nah he's done worse but I decided to give him a small warning." Said Scott. "Did you ever spar at school?" when Alan nodded Scott continued. "So how about the two of us go a few rounds?"

"I would like that." Grinned Alan.

Scott smiled back, oblivious to Alan's second hobby. Both went up to change before meeting at the gym. Alan took his mouthguard with him and willingly let Scott help him with the rest of the protection for his shin and elbow, hands were wrapped before placed in the gloves and a headgear was found that fitted him. Only after ensuring that Alan couldn't get hurt, Scott ensured his own gear. Knowing that is he hurt Alan, even on accident, the bruise John gave him would be minor.

Stepping into the ring, Alan closed his eyes for a second to clear his mind. Then he looked at his brother and readied himself.

Scott had basic knowledge about sparring, but Alan was a champion lightweight under eighteen. While his punches didn't have much power, Alan did have a fast reflex, long stamina and a quick turn. Diving under the first few hits Scott swung to him, Alan studied the technic behind it. When Scott moved again, Alan simply stepped out to the left hitting Scott hard in the chest.

Scott was surprised when he gloved hand hit him, bending over. "Scott?" Alan's hand rested on his lower back. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Gasped Scott. "You surprised me that's all." Alan managed to surprise his brother again. and again. It went on several times and Alan made sure to hit the oldest brother on different places. Scott still hadn't passed Alan's defences. "Break?" panted Scott and the sound of the gong came from the left. John and their father were watching from the side lines.

Jeff pointed at Scott while John held out a bottle for Alan.

"He's better than I thought." Scott spit out the mouth guard so he could drink.

"Well you are sparring with a boxing champion. They offered him a dual scholarship, one for baseball and one for boxing" Pointed Jeff out. Scott's mouth fell open and he turned to Alan who was cheerfully waving to him from his place next to John. "He didn't tell you before you started. That's a bit low."

"I'm more upset that we didn't know before than that he didn't tell me now." Mumbled Scott. "We really messed up didn't we?"

"We did." Nodded Jeff. "We put our work before our family."

_**A reviewer pointed out that I made the other characters nasty. I don't try to make the others nasty, in our family teasing and pranking was usual when all my brothers were still at home. They once turned my white closet this most ugly color pink and I refused to go into my bedroom until they changed it back. Niek once made a complete mess of my very organised room to find his biology book which I borrowed for research on an essay and had yet to return after three days. These things actually happened, and while in my story they are bigger than in real life. This story is partially based on me and my brother. My middle brother is superb in studying but unlike my other brothers he really truly sucks in any kind of sport with the exception of table tennis but even there he loses from the others. **_

_**We didn't notice that our teasing was driving him away, I thought that he went to his room to study in peace not to escape us. Sten got help and we laid off once we found out that he was bullied at school and that he compared it with the teasing at home. We still tease him sometimes but are careful with the pranks. Teasing each other is what siblings do, I don't know any better than talking back. **_

_**Perhaps you find in the other chapters that once the Tracys realize what the constant teasing does, that their response is more like the characters you know and love.**_

_**Xxx Flora**_


	4. Virgil and Gordon

**The reason I rated this M, is because of the Suicide mentioned in the chapters. If this is an offensive subject (and you still read through the other chapters) just press on the little red button that makes this story close. **

**Still don't own the Thunderbirds, *snik***

**Virgil**

Twenty-four year old Virgil loved his bed. Nobody dared to wake him up except for when it was important so when John shook him awake because his help was needed in the infirmary. His day was already ruined.

"What happened?" Virgil asked running alongside from John.

"Scott and Alan were sparring when Alan lashed out and Scott tried to block it. We think it's only sprained but Alan got a real mean left hook."

"Left? I thought Alan was right." Commented Virgil.

"Alan is both." Said Jeff, he had waited at the door and opened it for the two. Alan was seated next to Scott, holding an icepack against Scott's left arm.

"What the hell have you done to him?" Virgil took in Scott's face and arm. "What's wrong with you, he's your brother!"

"VIRGIL!" three voices yelled at the same time.

"No, you two acted strange yesterday and now you, Scott, stands up for him after he beat you up! What is going on?"

"I was the one who hit Scott in the face." John said standing before Alan with Scott following his example.

"Bullshit!" Virgil yelled.

"John was the one who hit me in the face," Scott said. "Alan did nothing wrong, we were playing in the gym, I underestimated him and made the wrong move. Accidents surrounding sparring happen. You and I both know that."

"What is going on?" demanded Virgil to know.

"They feel guilty." whispered Alan from behind the two brothers. "I graduated, and they forgot. A lot has happened and they feel guilty because they didn't know."

"Really?" Virgil questioned but he knew it was true by the looks on the other faces. "What happened?" Alan remained silent and the others only tensed. "Fine don't tell me. Keep your secrets, Scott sit down I need to take an x-ray so I can go back to bed."

When Scott sat down, Jeff guided Alan to sit on the other bed. The father carefully unwrapped Alan's hand and softly examined it. "John, can you get some ice?"

"it's fine dad, it doesn't hurt." Protested Alan.

Father ignored Alan and looked up to the other blond. "John, ice please." He requested as he turned back to both hands. "Right is only slightly bruised. But I think you may have sprained the left one. Shall I wrap it in an ace bandage for you?"

"I will take a look at that hand after I'm finished with Scooter." Virgil said placing the machine above Scott's right arm. "Everyone behind the screen."

Scott's hand was only sprained and soon placed in brace.

Virgil turned to Alan, "Your turn, you know the drill." Placing Alan's hand on the board, everyone walked behind the screen for the picture. But something made it blurry. Telling the others to wait, Virgil went back to Alan. "I can't take the picture, give me your hand." Pulling the sleeves down, Virgil noticed the scaring. "What is this!" he said angry pulling the arm in the light causing Alan to gasp in pain and shock. "WHAT IS THIS!"

"Let him go Virgil!" John pulled Virgil away while Jeff took Alan away.

When the father had taken the shocked teen out of the room an angry Virgil turned to his brothers. "That's what you were hiding. That Alan fucking tried to kill himself and you hide it from me? Why?"

"We too just found out, but it happened over two years ago." Scott explained.

"Hood?" asked Virgil.

"No, we pushed him Virg." John softly said. "He tried to slit his wrist the night he arrived back at school while during vacation. He overheard us speaking bad about him and something snapped. We've told him again and again how useless he is, he believes it himself. There are so many things we don't know about him, and Alan is scared. That he'll be cast aside, be hurt again."

"We did this?" Virgil sat down.

Scott nodded. "That is why we're so careful with him. Alan is fragile and the slightest push may be pushing him away from us."

Looking up, Virgil asked. "What do you mean?"

"We forgot his graduation this year." started Scott. "He enrolled himself in MIT, got an apartment and full scholarship without us knowing."

"What if he decides that he doesn't want to be insulted every time he comes home?" continued John. "What if Alan decides that he has enough? He's getting help, someone saved his life and put him on his own feet. And it wasn't us. I'm scared that Alan tries it again, true but then I see how old the scars are and how his eyes lit up when he speaks of his future and fill with regret about the past. He wouldn't do it again. So I'm more afraid that Alan decides he's better off without us and just leaves."

"Alan wouldn't just leave us." Said the musician unbelieving.

"I would." Admitted Scott. When he received two questioning looks he clarified. "After John knocked some sense into me, I thought back to what we did. At was always at least three against Alan. While we never asked him about school we assumed since he didn't talk about it, he was barely passing. We kept our mouths shut when we got a bad grade an told everyone when we received an A. we never went to visit, never asked him about hobbies or friends. I wouldn't stay here if I was him. I would have stopped coming home a long time ago."

Jeff carefully wrapped a bandage around Alan's thin wrist. "Don't worry about Virgil."

"I'm not worried about that." Alan's voice was soft. "Are you only nice to me because I tried to kill myself?"

"No off course not." Jeff said shocked pulling the distraught boy in a hug. "What we did was wrong Alan, we saw our mistake and changed our ways. You should feel save and loved at home. And it's our fault you aren't. We should have noticed what our words did to you. We should have seen the way you ran away during dinner. There shouldn't be a reason why I'm nice to you. I'm nice to you because you're my son and I love you. I'm sorry I didn't show it before. It was wrong and I'm sorry."

Unknown to father and son watched Gordon from a distance, vowing that he would change his ways.

By the time Alan left for school, the atmosphere on Tracy island had changed. While the teasing still continued it was more lightly and not everyone against one.

Alan still called his sponsor every day but bad days were rare these days so they were talking about changing it to two or three times a week.

Jeff had flown out to meet with James, as both man requested. The father came home that same night with a matching bruise as Scott. Neither men spoke about it and Alan didn't dare to ask.

In the fall, Jeff took his youngest to Prague, the rest of the break Alan continued his Thunderbird training that he started to love like he did when he was younger.

When Alan had a bad day around November. He called home and because Jeff was up in five, John flew out to the apartment where Alan was staying. John ended up staying for a week before duty called and he had to return.

Every game, if there wasn't a mission shortly before, was attended by at least one family member. Thunderbirds couldn't miss anymore active operatives but for Alan, one was enough.

And when Alan returned home for Christmas, he arrived with a smile, that reached his deep blue eyes.

**So this is officially the end of Hear me, there won't be anymore after this. Hope you liked reading it and don't forget to review on you way out.**

_**Xxx Flora**_


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